i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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