Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
