this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
