oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize