Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize