yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
