Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
