Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize