I am puke
Sponge bath it is.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
