Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
