after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We talked him into tasing himself.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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