I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
