It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
