i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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