I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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