I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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