and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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