vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
