Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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