i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
