Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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