I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
