The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
