Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
