we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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