That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
