Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think i got beer on your cat.
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