It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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