Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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