Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
