i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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