if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
