Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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