hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
