butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
