Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
