he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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