We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
