that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
