It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
