I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
