You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
