and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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