We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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