I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
