My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
