He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
