I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
