Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
