Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
