Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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