Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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