I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
