She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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