i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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