i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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