True but thats because hes a fetus.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The power of my boobs compel you
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
