stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
